Posts Tagged ‘steve’

Did you miss me? (Rabid birds)

July 18, 2008

So I work at a library. This summer, part of my job is helping with the children’s summer reading program. (By helping I mean bribing children with prizes for reading books when they don’t have to). Yesterday, Moreland the Magician came to the library to put on a magic show as part of the program. I didn’t get to see the show. But I was there right before it, when the aforementioned magician came to my desk and asked if he could rubber cement some feathers to the wall as part of his act. (Not having wall/rubber cement clearance, I had to refer him to another staff member.) I was also there right after the show, when the twice aforementioned magician marched his entire audience (primarily children about ages three to ten) into the children’s section and said, in a semi-fake Australian accent, “Okay kids, let’s see if we can find where the rabid bird hit the wall!”

I was going to try to say something clever but I think I’ll just leave it at that.

You know what would be totally fucked up?

June 17, 2008

If someone had telekinesis, but only for pizza.

I’m not sure how I feel about the wikipedia article about zebras

June 17, 2008

I’m really not. I think I’m getting old.

The time my mom almost got bitten by a zebra.

June 17, 2008

So we’re at the Catskill Game Farm (which is basically a zoo, but with more opportunities to feed baby deer) with my brother and his family, and we’re in the different horses area, and my mom is petting a bunch of different kinds of donkeys through the chain link fence that you’re not supposed to pet. And there’s this zebra, and my mom is like “Oh, he’s lonely!” completely neglecting to consider that unlike the assorted donkeys, the zebra is a wild animal.

So the zebra almost bites her.

The end.

P.S.

June 16, 2008

I got a sunburn on my head. I feel betrayed by my hair.
The wikipedia article on sunburn is pretty comprehensive. You can get sunburned from welding apparently. Also, there’s a picture of a tree with sunburn.

Anteater

June 16, 2008

Today I insisted that Ari and I go to the zoo despite the fact that neither of us are 10.  We saw anteaters.  They looked like aliens.  Really, if you showed me an anteater, and I didn’t know anteaters existed, and you told me it was an alien, I might believe you.  Of course, if you just randomly showed me an anteater, that would mean you had this random anteater at your disposal, and I mean that would be pretty awesome.  I mean, my mom has a lot of cats, but I think anteaters pretty much beat out cats for being awesome.  Discussion question:  How many cats would you have to have for their collective awesomeness to equal the awesomeness of a single anteater?

 

Also, the wikipedia article on flamingos is not that great as far as I’m concerned.