Posts Tagged ‘gryfft’

I’ve Got This Idea

August 25, 2011

I want to have my first novel written already. I think that’s my big hurdle now, as a writer– once I get through the process once, it won’t be so daunting, because I’ll be able to draw on whatever I did the first time, and then I’ll be able to do the same thing again, and basically after I write my first novel I’ll rip myself off into infinity.

I have an idea for a novel! I’ve been extremely critical of myself, but I like this idea, because it is something that I consider easy and pandering, plus just enough of a twist for me to pretend I’m breaking new ground (the only new ground I will ever break will be when they bury me.)

Hit the jump to see what my fresh new take will be!


Ex Nihilo Res

July 9, 2011

“Electricity.” John smiled. “Electricity is the answer, and you know it.”
His black, collared shirt was loose over his lank frame and strangely long arms. He wore a white tie, and shiny shoes. Behind horn rim glasses, his dark eyes gleamed.


Magical Orange Tic-Tacs

November 17, 2010

I love orange tic-tacs.

MS Paint Adventures is like a magical, opaque box of orange tic-tacs. It generates an orange tic-tac at random intervals.

They are so tiny and delicious that in no time whatsoever you have eaten them all. So you put the box down for a little while, but in a matter of time you are back, checking the box for tic-tacs. Maybe there is a new tic-tac. Naybe there are five! Maybe there are none at all.

The only way to know for sure is to check the box again.

No, there aren’t any new tic-tacs.

Maybe there will be if you check once more.

Because This Blog Is About High Art

September 23, 2010

(10:51:37 PM) Rob: Okay, you are entirely enamored of this godfart.
(10:51:47 PM) Ari Collins: GODFART.
(10:51:52 PM) Ari Collins: How are you not with me on this?
(10:52:02 PM) Rob: Because you are seven years old.
(10:52:03 PM) Rob: And I am eight.
(10:52:09 PM) Rob: I have moved on to penis jokes.
(10:52:17 PM) Ari Collins: PENISFART.
(10:52:35 PM) Rob: I want to say that adding ‘fart’ to the end of things doesn’t instantly make it better.
(10:52:40 PM) Rob: But that word is pretty funny.
(10:52:42 PM) Rob: Although:
(10:52:53 PM) Rob: Perhaps it just turns out that addding ‘Penis’ to the beginning of something actually is the key.
(10:53:35 PM) Ari Collins: PENISBIKE.
(10:53:40 PM) Ari Collins: PENISMAIL.
(10:53:45 PM) Ari Collins: PENISSHOE.
(10:53:51 PM) Ari Collins: PENISDOOR.
(10:53:53 PM) Ari Collins: PENISCLOCK.
(10:53:58 PM) Ari Collins: What else is in my room?
(10:54:05 PM) Ari Collins: And yes, there is a bike in my room.
(10:54:08 PM) Rob: Penispenis.
(10:54:16 PM) Ari Collins: Sadly, that’s not in my room.
(10:54:19 PM) Ari Collins: I left it with Jenny.
(10:54:43 PM) Rob: I believe we’ve divined the true, unholy alchemy of literature this day.
(10:54:56 PM) Rob: That adding ‘penis’ to the beginning, and ‘fart’ to the end of any word makes it instantly eight times better.
(10:55:37 PM) Rob: This is proven by the fact that Shakespeare never showed the world his final play, in which every word was thus gilt.
(10:55:49 PM) Rob: He knew that the world would be instantly immolated by its brilliance.
(10:55:57 PM) Ari Collins: brillmolated.
(10:56:12 PM) Rob: Penisbrillmolatedfart.
(10:56:12 PM) Ari Collins: Wow that portmanteau did not work as intended.
(10:56:31 PM) Rob: Penisportmanteaufart.
(10:56:50 PM) Rob: We have cracked the code.
(10:56:53 PM) Ari Collins: fartmanteau
(10:56:59 PM) Rob: We have cracked the peniscodefart.

In Dolor Veritas

September 20, 2010


He tugged at his transfixed wrist, and the scabbed ooze of his flesh twisted darkly against the nail. The smashed bones in his hand twitched as the metal scraped the ends of his severed tendons.

“You win,” he rasped.

“Not yet,” she said. She draped another fold of soggy newspaper across his wrinkled brow. “Soon, darling.”

Sweet Dreams

September 19, 2010

by Robert Gryfft

The moment lasted decades, her eyes locked to the animal, his eyes to her.

“Pony,” she said, eyes gleaming.

“Yes, little one,” the clown said, reaching for her flaxen curls. “Pony.”

Her mother turned, shivering suddenly. “Come on, bubbie.”

The clown raised his gloved hand slowly.

Mother and daughter fled into the crowd.

He watched.


September 12, 2010
Why MSPaint Adventures Is Awesome
And Why You Should Read It
MSPaint Adventures is a webcomic written and drawn by Andrew Hussie. But it’s not just any webcomic, oh no. MSPA is a masterpiece wrapped in a gimmick dipped in postmodernism and stretching out for thousands of epic pages. MSPA is daunting at first, ridiculous in every single way, and absolutely-and-a-half worth the time investment to catch up.
It all started with a detective, alone in his office, waiting for the next job to come his way.
Click for Problem Sleuth.

Biweekly Thereminite Meetings

June 21, 2010

Last week I bounced the idea off all y’all of having biweekly Thereminite meetings in gchat, and the overall response was well-disposed. We’ll be talking about the cool things we’ve been up to and the cool things that we’d like to be up to in the future. Based on people’s availability, I’d like to suggest that we hold the first meeting on Thursday, July 1st at 8:30 PM EST.

If that works for you, let me know. If that doesn’t work for you, also let me know. I’m thinking we’ll need a quorum of at least 3 out of 4 peoples to have a good meeting.

Homework Update.

April 28, 2010

Just figured I should put everybody’s tallies up. Here’s the leaderboard:

1. Zel: 4 (FOUR).

1. Sebatinsky: 4 (FOUR)

3. Tyler 2 (TWO)

And by the way, Zel revised her Latin on the songs she’s translated, completing her homework prior to Wednesday bagging her 2 (TWO)  points and for now tying her for  the lead with Sebatinsky. He may pull into first as he comes ’round the bend with mad discipline. Zel’s translation follows the jump.


The Harry Moonshine Cheeseball Factory

April 26, 2010
Once upon a time there was a hamster named Jebas. He lived on a heroin farm with his twin brother Judas. It was slightly confusing for the two hamsters from time to time because both their names started with J, but you, my dear reader, are going to get the fuck over it. Jebas is the hamster with the little freckle on his nose and Judas is the other one. It’s not that hard, Jesus Christ.
So the other day Jebas–