Posts Tagged ‘gretchenchapmancollins’

I mean, I’ve heard that Australia could be intense with like poisonous snakes and stuff, but…

July 20, 2008

I didn’t know that kangaroos were a deadly weapon.

Not to mention this.

I mean.

Jesus.

You know what would be totally fucked up?

June 17, 2008

If someone had telekinesis, but only for pizza.

I’m not sure how I feel about the wikipedia article about zebras

June 17, 2008

I’m really not. I think I’m getting old.

The time my mom almost got bitten by a zebra.

June 17, 2008

So we’re at the Catskill Game Farm (which is basically a zoo, but with more opportunities to feed baby deer) with my brother and his family, and we’re in the different horses area, and my mom is petting a bunch of different kinds of donkeys through the chain link fence that you’re not supposed to pet. And there’s this zebra, and my mom is like “Oh, he’s lonely!” completely neglecting to consider that unlike the assorted donkeys, the zebra is a wild animal.

So the zebra almost bites her.

The end.

P.S.

June 16, 2008

I got a sunburn on my head. I feel betrayed by my hair.
The wikipedia article on sunburn is pretty comprehensive. You can get sunburned from welding apparently. Also, there’s a picture of a tree with sunburn.

Anteater

June 16, 2008

Today I insisted that Ari and I go to the zoo despite the fact that neither of us are 10.  We saw anteaters.  They looked like aliens.  Really, if you showed me an anteater, and I didn’t know anteaters existed, and you told me it was an alien, I might believe you.  Of course, if you just randomly showed me an anteater, that would mean you had this random anteater at your disposal, and I mean that would be pretty awesome.  I mean, my mom has a lot of cats, but I think anteaters pretty much beat out cats for being awesome.  Discussion question:  How many cats would you have to have for their collective awesomeness to equal the awesomeness of a single anteater?

 

Also, the wikipedia article on flamingos is not that great as far as I’m concerned.