Author Archive

You know what would be incredibly, like amazingly kick-ass awesometastically awesome?

August 17, 2008

An entire army of adorable kittens armed with bows and arrows.

Tiny little fuzzy adorable arrows filling the air.

Kitten-y death.

My Classes

August 1, 2008

I registered for my first sememster of classes in Library and Information Science today. I told Ari what they were and he said “those are the most boring sounding classes I’ve ever heard of.” Here they are, for your reading pleasure.

IST 511 Introduction to the Library and Information Profession
IST 601 Information and Information Environments
IST 605 Reference and Information Literacy Services
IST 614 Management Principles for Information Professionals

It’s okay though, because I’m going to a school called the iSchool.

I mean, I’ve heard that Australia could be intense with like poisonous snakes and stuff, but…

July 20, 2008

I didn’t know that kangaroos were a deadly weapon.

Not to mention this.

I mean.

Jesus.

A break from the inanity

July 18, 2008

Ari and I went to see Hellboy II the other day (awesome.). To get to the movie theater we go right by a pet store that I used to love as a kid, because they actually have puppies for sale. When I was a kid that was the ultimate awesome; puppies all lined up and adoreable. I kind of flinch now though, when i walk past pet stores like that. The thing is, there’s a real problem with where those puppies come from. In the western world we love dogs, so much that China has banned official olympic restaurants for selling dog meat to avoid offending foreign olympic goers. So why is it we let this happen?

http://stoppuppymills.org/

http://prisonersofgreed.org/

Did you miss me? (Rabid birds)

July 18, 2008

So I work at a library. This summer, part of my job is helping with the children’s summer reading program. (By helping I mean bribing children with prizes for reading books when they don’t have to). Yesterday, Moreland the Magician came to the library to put on a magic show as part of the program. I didn’t get to see the show. But I was there right before it, when the aforementioned magician came to my desk and asked if he could rubber cement some feathers to the wall as part of his act. (Not having wall/rubber cement clearance, I had to refer him to another staff member.) I was also there right after the show, when the twice aforementioned magician marched his entire audience (primarily children about ages three to ten) into the children’s section and said, in a semi-fake Australian accent, “Okay kids, let’s see if we can find where the rabid bird hit the wall!”

I was going to try to say something clever but I think I’ll just leave it at that.

You know what would be totally fucked up?

June 17, 2008

If someone had telekinesis, but only for pizza.

I’m not sure how I feel about the wikipedia article about zebras

June 17, 2008

I’m really not. I think I’m getting old.

The time my mom almost got bitten by a zebra.

June 17, 2008

So we’re at the Catskill Game Farm (which is basically a zoo, but with more opportunities to feed baby deer) with my brother and his family, and we’re in the different horses area, and my mom is petting a bunch of different kinds of donkeys through the chain link fence that you’re not supposed to pet. And there’s this zebra, and my mom is like “Oh, he’s lonely!” completely neglecting to consider that unlike the assorted donkeys, the zebra is a wild animal.

So the zebra almost bites her.

The end.

P.S.

June 16, 2008

I got a sunburn on my head. I feel betrayed by my hair.
The wikipedia article on sunburn is pretty comprehensive. You can get sunburned from welding apparently. Also, there’s a picture of a tree with sunburn.

Anteater

June 16, 2008

Today I insisted that Ari and I go to the zoo despite the fact that neither of us are 10.  We saw anteaters.  They looked like aliens.  Really, if you showed me an anteater, and I didn’t know anteaters existed, and you told me it was an alien, I might believe you.  Of course, if you just randomly showed me an anteater, that would mean you had this random anteater at your disposal, and I mean that would be pretty awesome.  I mean, my mom has a lot of cats, but I think anteaters pretty much beat out cats for being awesome.  Discussion question:  How many cats would you have to have for their collective awesomeness to equal the awesomeness of a single anteater?

 

Also, the wikipedia article on flamingos is not that great as far as I’m concerned.