He Wrote Her

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A friend said I should make a site of these, a tumblr with appropriate images. Let me know what you think of these, and add your own if you can.


He wrote her as medieval fantasy, but she was no virgin and ravished the dragon.

He wrote her as science fiction, but no matter how many times she looped back in time, things always ended the same. Things always ended.

He wrote her as… some kind of urban steampunk science fiction… fantasy… umm… thing! But when she stole the Thaumaturgy Union’s computational engine, all she created was punch card porn.

He wrote her as memoir, but found they disagreed on pretty much everything that had ever happened.

He wrote her as comedy, but her humor was just depressing.

He wrote her as tragedy, but even in her fall, she never lost her grace.

He wrote her as a detective novel, but couldn’t figure her out.

He wrote her as a detective novel, but she killed the butler.

He wrote her as harlequin romance, but she gave up on men who asked her to subsume herself, and ended up with another heroine.

He wrote her as surrealist symbolism, but her dragon inhaled all his heat and beat itself with retracted claws.

He wrote her as postmodernism, but I found her too clever by half.

He wrote her as a play, but realized no actress could do her justice.

He wrote her as erotica, but her safe word was the English language.

He wrote her as a western, but she civilized the place.

He wrote her as legal drama, but she settled out of court.

He wrote her as soap opera, but she horrified her evil twin.

He wrote her as the Great American Novel, but found she wasn’t as compelling as he thought.

He wrote her as a musical, but she couldn’t even whistle.

He wrote her as a Dickensian serial, but she spoiled every cliffhanger.

He wrote her as microfiction, but couldn’t sum her up.

He blogged about her, but she Googled herself and found it.

He tweeted about her, but only porn spam bots followed the feed.

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One Response to “He Wrote Her”

  1. Sonja Says:

    Ha! I love these. I think my favorites would probably have to be the science fiction one (as if that comes as any surprise), the detective novel, harlequin, and erotica — yeah, really loved the erotica one. 🙂

    And I must concur with your friend.

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