Moments Like This Are All Too Rare

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I couldn’t believe she was really there with me. I could feel her breathing, could smell her, hear her, although she was too nervous at first to communicate in anything but whimpers. It was a perfect moment. She was beautiful.

Then she finally pulled away to look at me. Those eyes… those perfect, crimson eyes.

——————–
The above is a 55 which is only a 55 because it works as one. It’s really the introduction to an alien sex scene.

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3 Responses to “Moments Like This Are All Too Rare”

  1. Sebatinsky Says:

    I like this one! Partly because it went an entirely different direction than I was expecting.

  2. gryfft Says:

    It honestly feels gimmicky and cheap to me, but I like that the twist is in a single word. I was originally gonna have it be three crimson eyes, but I went against my gut for the sake of subtlety.

    I guess I’m just really self-critical right now. Thanks for the praise, nonetheless.

  3. Sebatinsky Says:

    Honestly, I think 55s are almost always gimmicky – at least the good ones. It’s hard to do much else in 55 words.

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