Current 56-Word Draft – Entitled “Mono”



by Ari Collins

We need to reach the base. We made this bug that racks our lungs, slows us down. And we made the blue dogs. They wait out there, red eyes, blue soft claws. Just past the reach of our last guns, they wait for those who cough and can’t keep up.

There’s an itch in my throat.

Bonus if you can uncover my formalism.

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5 Responses to “Current 56-Word Draft – Entitled “Mono””

  1. annoying Says:

    Last time it was one word not enough, this time it’s one word too many. There’s a certain balance in that.

    It’s a good idea. And I don’t know what your “formalism” is.

  2. gryfft Says:

    Look at the title again. It’s there.

  3. annoying Says:

    Unless you’re talking about mononucleosis, which is the first thing I thought about when I read the title, I don’t know what you mean. And if that’s the case, if the formalism is about mononucleosis, I’m going to feel a little stupid for not realizing that’s what he meant.

  4. gryfft Says:

    Spoiler below:


  5. annoying Says:

    GRR! Well, now I feel stupid. Then again, I was never that good in English class, at least compared to most of my other classes. Oddly enough, I’ve considered writing a haiku that’s monosyllabic; so I really should have been able to figure this out. Oh, well, maybe I’ll figure out the next riddle you guys come up with.

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