The Discovery Channel Is the New Skinemax


by Ari Collins

Every time she had sex, Laura would blast a movie. “I was trying to be discreet,” she told the hall when we gave her shit about it. We pointed out that you couldn’t be discreet when the movie you blast is always Blue Planet. I mean, who watches the same wildlife documentary over and over? It didn’t take a genius on that one.

Years later, after college, she found out that my friends and I had never seen Blue Planet. “You have to. It’s amazing,” she said. She went and found the disc, but left the room shortly after we started watching it. I followed her.

“What’s wrong?” I asked. “Seen it too often?”

“No, it’s a fantastic documentary. But I was getting a Pavlovian response. From… college.”

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